How Games Go South – The Art of Managing Chaos
Ultimately it Will Happen to You – But You Can Control It
No matter how good a referee you are, you will have a game go south. It happens at every level, from youth leagues to the pros. And when it does, every armchair ref with a lawn chair and a loud opinion will tell you why:
- You didn’t call enough fouls.
- You called too many fouls.
- You gave cards too quickly.
- You didn’t give enough cards.
- You weren’t close enough to the play.
- You interfered by being too close.
- You didn’t manage the game, the players, the bench, or the clock properly.
Sound familiar? Welcome to refereeing.
Whose Fault Is It?
Most of the time, it’s not the ref crew that’s to blame—it’s the teams. Players, coaches, and supporters set the tone. When they lose control, they’ll look for someone to blame, and guess who’s the easiest target?
Recognizing the Signs
When you feel a game slipping away, don’t wait until it fully collapses. Pause.
- If you’re an AR, find a reason to call the center ref over.
- If you’re the center, take a deep breath, slow things down, and show confidence.
Before players and coaches accept your control, they must see that you’re in control of yourself.
What Makes or Breaks a Game?
It’s not just the calls—it’s how they’re managed:
- Whistle tone – Is it authoritative or hesitant?
- Body language – Are you projecting calm control or frantic uncertainty?
- Pace of approach – Do you handle incidents decisively or arrive with uncertainty?
- Foul calls and restart tempo – Are you setting a rhythm that players understand?
- Communication style – What do you say, and how do you say it?
Refereeing is more than applying the Laws of the Game. It’s an art of game management.
When Things Go South – A Personal Story
I was once in contention for most cards in a single match—10 in total. I’ve also had to eject entire crowds. I recently officiated a Potomac Tournament match where the game was fine for 89 minutes and 53 seconds. Then, in the last seven seconds:
- A minor no-call led to three red-card offenses in the final five seconds.
- None of us saw them—we were tracking the ball upfield.
- The game still went completely off the rails.
I later reviewed the game tape. Until that last 10 seconds, our crew didn’t miss a single foul or restart. Yet, the game still exploded.
The Reality Check
Sometimes, even when you do everything right, chaos still happens. Your job is to control what you can, recognize the warning signs, and adjust accordingly.
Now it’s your turn: What’s your worst “Game Gone South” moment? How did you handle it? What would you do differently?
Last Updated on March 12, 2025 by Frank